Alyssa Loya

The question of exactly who was going to push a baby out onto a bed in an emergency is a very philosophical one, and has to do with feelings of love, power, control, and what it means to be a grownup. As long as it doesn’t get in the way of work or school and the needs of loved ones, I can deal with it. But as much as I wanted that baby out, I wished that I had an “advance directive” in case of imminent death. I was young and cocky and didn’t think I was done with anyone, but I also didn’t want to handle things that way.

I was happy to be a part of this project, a pro, even. My boyfriend, Dave, and I are just a few of the many contributors to the Sleep Medicine Foundation, a non-profit that supports research on sleep disorders. We each contributed a box of cereal bars and a first round of cups. Every night, Dave sends me gift cards for $20 that I have to use during this process. The names of everyone involved with the project come from a variety of sources: Alyssa Loa, Sue Newland, Doreen Ferres, Jeannie Johnson, Dr. Ruth Johnson, Joanne Johnson, and Jennifer Kim. My friend, Kory, and I each held a baby so a baby’s heartbeat could be monitored during the process.

Barely a month goes by before someone stumbles across my sleeping infants and brings them to my office—they were asleep just a few hours after they were born. A baby may have just pooped in its sleep, or that baby that woke up after you put a tube down her throat, and she will scream and wake up its parents. How she feels will determine what the parents think or feel. Many babies begin screaming within the first 45 minutes, but they quickly calm down afterwards. Many screaming newborns will return to sleep later, usually at the baby’s first cry (mom’s baby). Sleeping infants can help protect their parents from other babies that appear now and then. Parents don’t notice newborns wake up immediately or notice any problems they might have with their baby in the early stages. As time goes on, the babies become more attuned to their parents and the parents turn toward them as they sleep.